ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
being pregnant is like rehab
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
