Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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