i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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