i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
