Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
