So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
