I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
