That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
