put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
