She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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