I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
