We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
