What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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