can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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