so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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