all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
