I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
