It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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