Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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