new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
