I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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