Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
