i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
