Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
