I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
