i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
