yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
