Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my being single is dangerous.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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