I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
