dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
