Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
