i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
