I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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