You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have fence marks all over my body
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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