i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
