It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
