what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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