Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
