3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
