I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can I color on your dick again?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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