i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
