Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
