if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
