guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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