i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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