So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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