there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
