We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
