Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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