You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
