no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
